Sunday, 1 February 2009

What Sue thought

I received my critique back from Sue Moorcroft yesterday and this is what she thought. True to my word I will be sharing it all with you - he good and the bad.

Presentation: nice clear font, indented paragraphs and double line-spacing. Good grammar, punctuation and spelling.
Wordcount: Just right.
Dialogue: good. Advances the story and adds to the characterisation.
Characterisation; good. Christine is somebody I feel I could meet any day. Because you remain firmly in her viewpoint we are party to her thoughts and emotions, which is always engaging.
Overall: you have a flowing style with a good command of language. But i don't feel that this is the right story for Woman's Weekly. The plot is slight and sort of upside-down - instead of there being a problem that is solved, there's a good situation that gradually deteriorates into a disappointment. Instaed of ending the story with a glow, i feel fed up.
For this market, you generally need the central character to be instrumental in the resolution that, by reaching a turning point or epiphany, gives rise to a satisfying ending.
I like your writing style and characterisation and with the right story you might well be a future Woman's Weekly writer. Good luck!
Best wishes

So there it is. I'm pleased that she liked the way that I write but a bit disaapointed that she thought it was an unhappy ending. I thought it was ironic. I have to say though that I think it was £3 well spent.


Mummy said...

Thank you for sharing! I agree, well worth the £3 - and good luck moving forward, on the whole it's a very good crit I thought!

Gonna be a writer said...

Thanks, I was quite happy with it. at least she liked the writing and the grammar was correct. It would have been so much worse if she'd said your rubbish and stop deluding yourself. I know that she never would have said that even if she thought it but you know what I mean.

Swerdnic said...

Hiya, Definately worth £3. I thought it was really possitive. I'd find another magazine that would fit your story and have another go. You never know. :)

KAREN said...

There were a lot of positives, which is great :o)

I'm still waiting for mine to come back. Gulp.

Annie Wicking said...

Thank you for sharing it with us, as it has something for all of us to learn from.

I'm sure you could find another home for it.

Isn't there any short story competitions you could entry into, I listed a few on my blog.

Best wishes

Anonymous said...

don't give up, keep going. the first story I ever sent to WW they sent back saying they liked my style but thought the story had an unhappy ending - which was the opposite to what I thought at the time. I persevered and have since sold many stories to them, Don't stop working at it. You'll get there.

Gonna be a writer said...

Thanks everyone for your support. I will be sending the story out in the next week or so.
Anonymous I am intrigued by you. you say that you have sold many stories to WW. Are you somebody famous?