Apologies from a bad blogger

I knew it had been a while but I was appalled to find that its over two months since I've been here. Poor neglected blog. However, I am going to try and start making amends right now.
Since we last spoke I've been busy doing not a lot really. I am now doing my dialysis at home which has involved a new routine which does mean that I don't visit cyber space as often which is good in one way because it means that I deal with the real world but also results in blogs becoming neglected. After a few teething problems that seems to be sorted now and so far so good. I'm no longer going to the hospital three times a week and I returned to work full time the week before Christmas.
Ah Christmas, I missed all that in blogland too. The day itself was a bit of a wash out for me because I'd picked up a sickness bug but I still had a good time and it was lovely to have all my menfolk round the same table at the same time. I saw in the New Year in bed hooked up to my dialysis machine watching the fireworks over the Thames with a glass of brandy in my hand. It doesn't sound very much but I actually enjoyed it and I was full of optimism for the new year which hopefully will be better than the last one.
As for writing, I've done a couple of first drafts but nothing really serious. My new routine and going back to work properly has taken a bit of getting used to but its getting better day by day.
I've also ticked another couple of things off my list

I've packed up a couple of boxes of dog food for  the rescue home. They haven't gone yet because Himself won't let me take them on my own because he's scared that I'll come back with another dog.

This was the other thing that I did - I had a pint. At the time that I did it, that pint was half of me daily fluid allowance but it was so worth it. I wanted to have a pint because it was something that used to horrify my mother and it was my way of saying I'm a grown up now and I can do what I want. Strange thing is when I told Mum what I'd done she just asked if I enjoyed it. Mothers eh!!!
That's all that's coming to mind at the moment but if I think of anything else I'll be back.
Bye for now,
x

The (not so ) lovely Guido

As promised, here is my guy who raised almost £40 for hos (my) chosen charity.
Go Guido!!!

Wasn't kidding was I when I said he wasn't much of a looker.

Go Guido

My guy has been sitting at work fr the last week or so and he's raised about £30 which I am pretty pleased about. I took a picture of him but I haven't downloaded it yet but when I do he will be appearing in all his glory right here. I have to warn you though, he isn't a looker but that is part of his charm.

I tried to explain the tradition of Bonfire Night to an American friend earlier today and it reminded me of the time I tried to tell her about cricket. The last I heard she was going to Google The Gunpowder Plot.

As a side note, I had my operation to get the Tenckhoff line inserted this week. It apparently went well though it may be after Christmas before its used. I didn't enjoy being in hospital and was glad that I was only there for two nights.

Two more ticks and other stuff

Two more things were ticked off the Fifty/50 list this week. Firstly I wore a dress yesterday. I meant ti have a photo taken wearing it but I forgot. I kid you not though - I did wear it and what's more I liked it. I may do it more often. Secondly I finished my guy and he'll be going to work with me tomorrow. I have to be honest he's not a good looking fella but for a first (and probably only attempt) I'm quite pleased.
On a different note, I have to be honest and admit that I haven't done a lot of writing while I've been off work even though the intention was there. At first I was too weak and it took all my energy just keeping awake and then later when I got stronger I spent too much time thinking. That's the problem with having a lot of time on your hands you have a lot of opportunity for thinking - mainly about what life has thrown at you and to be honest that's not been a good exercise. It occurred to me the other day that until I am able to return to work properly which will hopefully be around Christmas time I need to fill my time with something other than thinking. So, I've been working on a couple of new short stories. One is finished and waiting to be edited and the other one is just waiting until I come up with a suitable ending. I know what I want o say just not how to say it. I've also made myself a writing "to do" list which will hopefully focus my mind and also give me something to refer to if I find myself dwelling on stuff.
I have to go back into hospital next week for an operation which will allow me to dialyse at home until such a time as my kidneys start working again or I get a transplant. I don't particularly want to dialyse at home, I don't want to do it at all but its what's keeping me alive so c'est la vie. I don't enjoy going to the hospital 3 times a week though so hopefully it will be worth it.

A lovely weekend and a couple of ticks.

I've been married 31 years today and usually we are way for our anniversary but given that we had the big splurge in Paris in April for that big birthday of mine (well that and the fact that I still have to go to hospital 3 times a week for dialysis) we were going t give it a miss this year. However, my lovely husband booked us a weekend away in a log cabin near Saltburn in North Yorkshire and we were there at the weekend. Its not a vast distance from home (just an hour or so) but it was far enough to be "away" but close enough "just in case". And what a wonderful weekend we had.

I was surprised to find that the cabin was actual wood - I though it was just an effect but no it was an actual log cabin. These beautiful creatures wandered randomly through the grounds which was lovely but a bit of a shock when we woke up to the sound of them walking in the roof one morning. The blue dresses belong to a couple of bridesmaids from a wedding that was being held in the hotel that was also in the grounds.

We took Zac with us and he had a wonderful time playing in the beach and walking through the parks and woodland. He also had a lot of fun digging holes in the sand.

I also got the chance to tick another couple of things off my Fifty/50 list. I thoroughly enjoyed my 99 even though the wind was playing havoc with my hair. I should point out that even though this picture makes it look like I'm shoving it into my chin I was actually capturing the strawberry sauce that was dripping off the pointy top of my Mr Whippy ice-cream.

The other thing I got to do was paddle in the sea.

Zac also enjoyed the paddling though he was braver than me and went in a lot further than I did.

I didn't get to throw my message in a bottle into the sea though because the tide always seemed to be coming in when we were at the beach and I didn't want it landing on the same beach that it was launched from.

A lovely day and half a tick

I had a lovely day out with Himself yesterday (happy birthday to him for today BTW) and I even managed half a tick on my Fifty/50 list.
I bought a dress!! Yes that's right, there is a dress hanging in my wardrobe. I was going to take a picture of it but to be honest it looks better on than on the hanger so maybe I'll have a picture taken when I'm wearing it.
Following some good advice from some of you via comments to my previous post I'm going to look into joining a critique group so if anyone can recommend one I'd love to hear about it.

Stuff

Going through one of my folders that contain stories that are not quite finished I found two stories that I had completely forgotten about.
They both have the same central character and the plan was that they would be the start of a series. I suspect that they are both still sitting in that folder because I didn't know which magazine to pitch them at. I'll have to give it some thought because I really like them.
I've also just given BTL another outing at an agency. I wish that I could get someone to read the whole thing, I don't know if its just me because I have read the first three chapters a thousand times but they don't excite me as much as they used to but when I read the rest of it recently I loved it.
All I want is for one person (other than me) to read the whole thing.
On a different note, Himself and I are having our first day "out" since April and I am terribly excited at the prospect.

A good day

It was a good day yesterday.
Yeah my dog walking clothes are clearly too big for me and my hair is a mess but this is me yesterday walking my lovely dog Zac in the woods near where we live and that is something that I haven't been able to do since May.
I used to love walking him and not doing so has been one of the things that I missed the most. I've walked with him and my Better Half along the road a couple of times but this was the first "proper" walk. That was a couple of miles and hopefully today I will add a mile onto that and make it to the bench to see the sheep.
Just to make the outing perfect Zac made some new friends.

38 - tick

Number 38 on "The List" has now turned red. I made bread from scratch with my own hands and here is the photograph to prove it. I don't think Messrs' Warburton and Allison have anything to worry about.

Link to stories

Two my stories are now on the Alfie Dog website and can be found here if anyone is interested.

Dancing Queen

Remember her? Well yesterday afternoon I was dancing around my kitchen and it felt soooooooo good. Things must be looking up.

Okay so "dancing" might be stretching it because my feet didn't move a lot just in case I fell over but the top half of my body was a moving and a grooving.

Also, I'm finally going back to work in 2 weeks time. I'm just going to do a couple of hours a day a couple of days a week but at least its a start.

So what?

So what if my kidneys still aren't working? My fingers are.
It occurred to me in the early hours of this morning that its been too long since I did any writing so needless to say that is going to change. Life is still pretty rubbish health wise at the minute so why not concentrate on something that I enjoy.
So with that in mind I set about a couple of projects that have been on my mind this morning and instantly felt better. I even did a bit of editing and resubmitted an article.

Number 5 - tick

There's another off my Fifty/50 list. Number 5 has gone that is to read Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.
It was hard reading at times but I'm glad that I went through it. Its just sad that we don't learn from history but I guess it was ever thus. The Native Americans were treated appallingly but sadly they aren't the only indigenous people to have suffered that way.
I've just checked and so far I've only ticked 7 things off the list so I am a bit behind schedule though I hope that I'll be able to pick up some of the leeway. Given that I was out of commission for the best part of 3 months though I'll forgive myself for that. Maybe some of the things like visiting that historical sight near my home will have to be put off till next year as I think it closes next month for the winter and I doubt I'll be up to a visit before then. Oh well.

Number 16

So there's another one off the list.

Number 16 "to tweet" has been ticked off the list. It wasn't very exciting but if I waited for that I'd be waiting a long time. For anyone who is interested my words of wisdom they can be found here.

A productive morning

One of the good things (the only good thing) about my So is that I can't do vast amounts of housework etc. so it gives me time to sit at the laptop doing whatever it is that I want to  do without feeling guilty that I'm not cleaning the windows or something.  Well am I feeling smug?
So far today I have submitted an article to an online publisher that has used some of my stuff before, submitted an article to a print magazine editor who says that they like my writing style and sent my signed contract back to Alfie Dog so that the stories that they accepted can go live ASAP. Added to that I have also filled in my tax return. I earned next to nothing from writing last year but the good old taxman still wanted his pound of flesh. Yes well he's got it because I paid it online so that's me done with him for another year.
A productive morning I would say. However there is a small pile of ironing that I want to do. God love him, my much loved Better Half kept house and home together while I was in hospital but the ironing pile was the height of Mount Kilimanjaro. It'll be all done today though.

The real me.

I make no apologies for the drawing above. I'm more of a writer than an artist and for those that can't make out what on earth it is, it is a woman and she is dancing. Her arms and legs are all over the place but she is dancing. As it says above her head she is "carefree."

Let me explain.



During my time in critical care I had to have an ECCO cardiogram which is basically an ultrasound exam on you heart. As the technician was doing her stuff I looked at the monitor and this is what I saw. No I am not mad, I saw a woman dancing in my heart in a carefree manner. Her arms and legs were flying all over  the place to the beat of my heart and as I was tachycardic at the time there were lots of beats.
The thing is that I love to dance but don't. I might have the occasional wiggle around the kitchen when I'm cooking but that's it. But seeing this woman in my heart I realised that she is me. Somehow and I know I'm not making sense here but she represents me or rather what I want to be.
The drawing was done while I was still in ICCU on the only bit of paper that I could find while I was still on oxygen so please take that into account before you mock it. Having said that I am a carefree dancing woman so what do I care?

Preparing for number 16

Number 16 on my Fifty50 list (which I haven't given up on despite recent events) was to tweet. I've set up the account "@pinkpenwrites" but that's it so far. I need to
a) work out what the hell @'s,#'s and other random symbols mean
and
b) what I'm going to say. I didn't say that I'd be a regular tweeter just that I'd do it so if its a one off I want it to be profound.
Watch this space - I hope its worth it.

The novice I really am

I have a question and I know it's going to make me look an absolute novice but why not eh because that's what I am. I don't know the answer to this but I know that one of you will so I'd really appreciate the help.
I have a story that an editor has accepted "subject to the changes marked on the attached." The "attached" referred to is the story that I sent them. It has been returned with red marks on saying this word deleted or that word changed etc. My question is do I change the things marked and return it to them or will they do it?

Buzz

I felt the buzz of acceptance this morning and I have to say that it feels rather nice.
I've had 2 stories accepted by Alfie Dog which is an online publisher. Its a new one for me but everything is new to us all at some time.
There are a few formalities to be gone through but when the story is live I will link to it.

That List and other random catch up stuff.

Remember my Fifty50 list? The one of the 50 things that I wanted to do when I was 50.Well the last 8/9 weeks have put a dent in it and I thought I'd just have a look at it to refresh the memory. When I wrote number 50 which goes along the lines of  living the whole 365 days it was a bit of a joke. Yeah well you better believe that I'm looking at that in a whole different light now. Anyway, haven't given up on the list but I am a bit behind.
And to other stuff. After getting out of hospital and feeling well enough to attack to mountain of unopened emails I discovered that I had finally heard back from the editor who had had some fiction of mine for a while. Sadly the reply was a negative but that was okay because I had given up on it anyway. However there was also one from an editor who had read some sample articles of mine and said that they liked my style and would like me to write something for them and another email that said that I had sold an article that I had completely forgotten about. A bit of a mixed bag really.
Since coming out of hospital apart from thrice weekly trips back for dialysis I am working on getting stronger. I am doing a bit more every day and getting there slowly. I have also edited a chunk of BTL and submitted 3 short stories.
I asked myself why I was doing that because given what I've been through I wondered if writing/ earing a living as a writer is that important to me. Well earning a living from it isn't because I gave up on that pipe dream years ago. Now I write for fun, because it pleases me and because I enjoy the thrill I get when I have a piece accepted. So yes it is important to me because it makes me happy. As for BTL well I've put a lot of blood sweat and tears (no I haven't) into it and I would like to have it read by other people. I think what I am trying to say in this jumbled mixed up way that my brain seems to be working in at the moment is that if something is important to you or there is something that you want to do you should do it now while you can because you have no idea how long "now" will last. Do it - whatever it is - before its too late.
I also thought about filling in last years tax return but didn't bother. So much for practicing what I preach eh? No that was for things that you want to do. Not that I'm going to bother the chap from HMRC much given my paltry earnings last year but they are what they are and paying the bit extra that I might owe him gives me the moral high ground over Philip Green and all the rest that fiddle their taxes one way or another so its worth it to me.
Other than that I have nothing to report so here endeth the catch up before it becomes waffle.