Some of you may have noticed more radio silence. That's because less than 48 hours after my last post I was back in hospital. To cut a very long story short I got a lung infection that put me in critical care for 2 weeks followed by 2 weeks on a ward recuperating.
I'm not going to dwell on the details but I have had a lot of thinking time which may well in the future provoke a lot of posts.
Without meaning to sound melodramatic, even though I maybe wasn't aware of it at the time, I was very seriously ill (yeah I know the fact that I was in critical care should have given the game away but somehow it didn't) and that sort of puts a new perspective on life.
I now realise how tenuous our hold is on it. One minute you're here, the next......you know the rest. Without any rhyme reason or explanation I went from being what I thought was a perfectly healthy (apart from a cold and a bit arthritis) 50 year old to what I am 8 weeks later which is a body that is 3 stone lighter than it was then, that needs a stick to get upstairs and a sit down when it gets there and dialysis 3 times a week.
Hopefully all of this is temporary. The weakness is due to muscle waste and gradually as I move around more and get stronger that should improve, I could have done with the weight off but this is not a diet I would recommend and with any luck my kidneys will start functioning at least enough to get off dialysis.
I know what's real now. I know what's important.