Explanation for radio silence

The last time we spoke it was Friday 24th May and I was hoping to return to the day job. Yeah well that was wishful thinking.

The following Wednesday I went or the blood tests that the doctor wanted and on the Thursday I got a call asking me to go to the surgery and I didn't see home for 13 days.

The doctor said my blood had shown some unusual things and sent me to a clinic attached to a hospital about 20 miles away. I had to go there and then. Once there they did more blood tests, chest x-rays, ECG's etc and a few hours later they told me I was being admitted to the hospital. The following day I was transferred by ambulance with flashing lights to another hospital about another 20 miles away. I had no idea what was wrong with me at that stage and to be honest they was I was feeling I didn't care where I was or what anyone wanted to do to me. Doctors were telling me things but I couldn't take it in.

Turns out that I was in the hospital I was in because of its specialist renal unit and I was there because I had had acute renal failure and my kidneys had completely stopped working.

In the past two weeks I have undergone plasma exchanges, blood transfusions and lots of dialysis.

I have to have at least another 2 weeks of dialysis three times a week and then they will decide if I need another dose of a chemotherapy drug that could make my hair fall out. Did I forget to mention the chemotherapy drug? Highly unpleasant. Anyway the doctors say that they doubt the kidneys will recover to their former standard but they are hopeful that they might return to  enough of a level to be able to come off dialysis.

My life now centres around how much urine I can make and I'm sure you're glad that I shared that nugget of information with you.

Another one off the list

On Monday Himself and I had to go out on a mission that only death would have kept me from. How's that for drama? Anyway on the way back to the car we stopped off to but Number Two Son a birthday and as we walked through the department store Himself said "they remind me of the red shoes you used to have." Just to refresh your memory I have only ever had one pair of red shoes before and I was wearing them the day we met.

 

 

I suppose they are a grown up version of the ones I used to have, they are certainly better made. The originals were a bit like what an Indian Squaw would wear and were a bit on the cheap side. So I have my red shoes. They weren't quite what I had in mind but when Himself had made that comment they seemed the right ones to get. Anyway, after what's happened to me in the last week it maybe is just sensible shoes for me.

Illness update

Happy to report that I am feeling a bit better, well more than a bit actually but I don't want to hex it.
Saw my own GP on Tuesday, well to be honest it was a woman I've never seen before but that's hardly surprising as I haven't had to see a doctor for 18 years. I digress, I saw my GP on Tuesday and after reading the other doctor's report and after her own examination she said that she thought I had Strep Throat as well as pharyngitis which would explain the muscle problems. By that time you see it had become clear that it was the muscles rather than the joints that were affected and that it wasn't just my legs. So I have to carry on with the course of medication and go back for a battery of blood tests and God knows what else next Wednesday.
I hope to return to the day job on Saturday.

Not on the list and another first

Okay so I have been 50 for a month ( and 4 days) and I have something that is not and would never have been on my Fifty50 List? What's that you ask - arthritis I reply.
According to the doctor, who was perfectly lovely at such an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning, the problems with my ankles and knees is down to arthritis and the reason that it has suddenly become much worse it that the cartilage has finally gone and bone is rubbing on bone. Doesn't that sound nice? Anyway he is fairly certain that it isn't a clot because the pain isn't in my calves but just to be on the safe side I'll need to see my GP to organise an x-ray. I'll also need blood tests to check that my kidney and liver function are okay. I know that I won't be in pain all the time and I guess I'll just have to find a way of managing it. As for that "cold" that has been lingering, turns out it is a pharyngeal infection and I have anti-biotics for that.
As for my other first. Well the good doctor that he wants me to spend 4-5 days resting with my legs elevated so I should "self cert" this week. I've never done that before.

A 1(11)st

I didn't come out from under the weather I'm afraid - I went further and further under it. Now as well as the cold my ankles and knees are swollen and I can't walk very well. I short of shuffle around the place and haul my not inconsiderable weight up the stairs using the handrail. It's just a matter of time until it comes off.
I don't go to the doctor because I'm normally a healthy person but Himself begged me to try and get an appointment because he was worried about me. However after the night I've had I couldn't even wait for that and for the first time ever I have called 111. The 2 people I spoke to at 5.30 on a Sunday morning were delightful but I think the bloke might have over reacted when he wanted to send paramedics. After a second opinion it was decided I need to go to Urgent Care and was given the appointment of 1pm. Ten minutes later the nurse rang back and said that she was worried about my bouts of breathlessness which I said I thought were caused by the whole hauling the legs around thing but she said you can't be too sure. So now I have to go at 8am which isn't a problem for me because I've been up most of the night but Himself might not be so happy about the early get up.
I'll keep you all posted.

Coming out from under the weather.

Which is where I have spent most of the week.
The early part of the week was hampered by a cold that only manifested itself during the evening. I'd be okay during the day apart from the odd cough and sneeze but by 8pm my head would be banging and I'd be raging hot and freezing cold at the same time.
On Wednesday evening I thought that my shoulder hurt a bit, then later I thought it hurt a lot and by 3am Thursday I was sitting in bed sobbing with pain. Himself was on nights so I only had the dog for comfort who, being male, didn't know what to do with a crying woman. He did lick my tears away which was very sweet. Anyway by 6am I couldn't lift my arm from my side. The nature of my day job means that I am prone to damaged muscles in my arms so its not the first time its happened to me but its certainly the worst. After a day of light arm exercises, application of heat and ice plus a muscle rub and a hot bath the arm was "okay" by Friday morning and fine by lunchtime. Phew! Amputation not required.
Then yesterday (Saturday) my cold was with me all day and I felt like the dog's doodahs all day, all evening and most of the night. However I woke at 7am feeling much better hence my claim that I am coming out from under the weather.
Got there in the end eh!
I haven't felt totally well since I got back from Paris if I'm honest but hopefully this is a sign of things picking up. I haven't done any writing since then but hopefully I might actually be able to put pen to paper this week. Seems like ages since I wrote anything new, I must do something - anything.
Just thought I would share my misery with you.
Happy Sunday.

: ; ?

The colon and the semi colon, oh how I wish I knew what you were all about?
I studied English to A level but I don't ever remember being taught what they were for or where to use them.
Now that I am of an age where I don't mind admitting when I don't know something I'm admitting it. There, I've said it, I don't know what they are for.
Can anyone help me please?

A funny thing happened....

..to me this morning.
Picture the scene  - early morning (6.25am), overcast and a bit chilly. I am suitably dressed in a bright yellow fleece fastened up to my neck and my hair isn't combed because who the hell am I going to see at that time in the morning. Zac is attired in his harness (he's a puller) and lead and with Frisbees at the ready we leave the house and I lock the door. Upon turning to leave the house who or rather what should I see strolling along the street but a policeman, a bobby on the beat if you will.
He rightly says that I might be surprised to see him on his beat this early which I confirm is the truth and he says that he is trying to catch people who allow their dogs to foul the pavement. He accepts that the pavements where we are, are very clean but says that there is a problem in another part of the village.
I assure him that at this time in the morning he is unlikely to see anybody apart from me and maybe the bloke that lives around the corner who will be walking his dog in the field at the end of the street or down by the river.
Before leaving he tells me that if I have a problem to ring 101 and ask for him.
My son thinks it was someone having a laugh on his way home from a fancy dress party and to be honest I'm not sure he's wrong.

Number 29

I started to put money into a bottle today (number 29 on my list)  and when its full I'm going to find a charity and give it to them. When I came up with this idea it seemed so simple but it isn't. Apart from a milk bottle (can you still get them?) it is really hard to find a bottle where the top is wide enough to get through. The first two bottles I found were way too small but then I found this one.



Sadly though for the poor so and so that has to count them when its full you can only fit 1p's and 5p's in it.



Beyond excited

As stated in the title, I am beyond excited with w recent acquisition.
I have said on many an occasion that one of my favourite authors is Ed McBain a.k.a. Evan Hunter. My love of Mr McBain started after I read "Ghosts"  many years ago. Its a book set in a fictional city about a group of detectives that work there. What sets these books apart for me is the dialogue. Ed wrote great dialogue. Coming across Ed McBain books is an easy enough thing to do especially for someone who works in the charity retail sector and I have a large collection of them. However books written as Evan Hunter is a different kettle of fish entirely. There aren't many of them and they are not so easy to find and in the 12 years I've been doing the job we've only had a few pass through our hands. They are completely different to the books written by his alto ego but the two I have read in the past have been compelling reading. Santa brought me a third which I haven't read yet and yesterday Himself found me another two one of which is "The Blackboard Jungle." I cannot describe how happy I was.
I was going to try to read "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" (again) after I've finished reading the book after the one I'm reading at the moment but that may have been postponed a week or two.

Coming home

I don't know why I did it but I did but now I've changed my mind so I've stopped it. How many of you read that sentence more than once before you made sense of it?
Basically as I have mentioned more than once I have a Fifty50 plan i.e. a list of 50 things that I want to do in my 50th year and I was blogging about it in a different place. However I never really felt the love for that other place. This is my blog. This is where I feel comfortable. So from now on I'll tell you about everything "me" (be it Fifty50 related or not) here.
The first 13 days are recorded on the link at the top of the page but anything new will be here on my blogging home.
Oh and the list, you know "the list"  can be viewed on the link by the same name at the top of the page and the ones in red are the things that I have done. Okay, I'm over explaining now so I'm going to shut up.

Experimental relaxation.

I've ticked another thing off my Fifty50 list so I'm feeling good about that.  I've also tackled a but more of BTL so that's good too. Thought I'd mention it here because I appear to be talking to myself over there but that's okay because it won't be the first time.
I made an experimental (for me) cake today - Sultana and apple. It was actually delicious actually much to Zac's annoyance. He's partial to a bit of cake but he's due at the vets for his annual check up in the next week or so he's watching what he eats. Well no to be honest he'd eat cake for breakfast dinner and tea but we are watching what he eats. When we got him as a emaciated one year old who had lived off scraps from a pub we soon discovered how much he loved bread and cakes and five years later he's still the same.
I love to bake on my day off - it is so relaxing.

WN?

I'm just checking. Was it May that Jill from WN said that she'd be accepting new submissions from? I have a couple outstanding with her but I've given up on them - I fear that the rejections may have gone to my spam folder when I was having trouble with my email - but I have another one that I think might interest her.
Would appreciate the any help.

Not again!

One of the things on my list for this year is to "find a publisher for BTL even if its me" or words to that effect. Now as many of you will know BTL and I have enjoyed or is it endured a long relationship which has involved, amongst other things, more than one re-write. Well whatever is going to happen to it, it needs to be gone through one more time and I chose today to start that task. But the thought of reading through those first few chapters filled me with dread. I've read them a thousand times.
I started this task a couple of months ago but became a bit side tracked when the Paris trip came over the horizon. I had changed the MC's "voice" a little so I knew that I would have to go through it again just to get a feel for what I had changed but I wasn't looking forward to it.
I know that when I get past the first few chapters it'll be okay because they are the chapters that I know so well having almost polished them to death but once I get further into the book I think that it will be like reading a new book because while I remember how it ends I don't remember exactly how we got there.
I'm looking forward to that.

Unexpected find.

I decided to do a bit of de-cluttering while I was running the bath and tidy up a corner of the bedroom. There, amongst the birthday cards that I've bought in advance and want to keep and the junk that needed throwing away I came across an article that I wrote God knows when. It reads a bit like an advert if I'm honest but I think that I can probably do something with it after a bit of tweaking.
Result.

Reality calling

My other blog seems to be taking its time inspiring anyone to visit it on a regular basis but at least over here I know for the most part that I'm not talking to myself so here goes.
Arrgghh!
As I have said many times before I treat this blog as a conversation and when something has been said it can't be unsaid but please ignore that first sentence and the wallowing that it involved.
I have to go back to the real world tomorrow after a wonderful week celebrating my 50th birthday (don't know but I might have mentioned that before) and to be honest I'm not looking forward to it. I have enjoyed a week of complete wonderfulness and to be honest the mundane just isn't so appealing.
The worst part of my day job is wondering what I am going back to after a week off. Hopefully things will have gone according to the plan I left but that's not always the case.
One of the things on that list in the other place is to get the pink pen out more and I did come up with a title last night. Not quite sure what or where I could apply it yet but I'll give it some thought. I don't need to tell any of you how weird it is when something, an idea just pops into your head. I still find it weird though. Where do they come from?
The weather's not so nice today not that that stops Zac from wanting go for a walk so that'll be on the agenda for this morning. In fact here is a picture of the lovely Zac for no other reason than he is lovely.

 

That particular Frisbee is long gone but he does have a fine collection so maybe we'll take one on our walk. After that I have a family lunch to cook, I mean Sunday is Sunday after all and there has to be a roast. Maybe after that I'll fit in a bubble bath and probably manage to choke down a bottle of wine tonight. Not a bad way to spend the last day away from reality.

Actually by 10 o'clock tomorrow I know I'll be fine but its just the thought of it that makes me squirm.

Sorry for the moan and thanks for listening.

Officially 50

Okay so I am officially 50 and do you know what it feels great. You can read all about what I was bursting about if you click on the Fifty50 link at the top of this page which will take you to my other blog. I'll give you a clue though.

However now that I am back I feel focused and raring to go.

Almost at bursting point

I am bursting with excitement because Himself has come up with a wonderful way to celebrate that big birthday that I have tomorrow. I'm not going to mention it here because I don't want to hex it but needless to say more will follow here and in that other place that you can access should you wish to via the Fifty50 link at the top of the page. Incidentally I haven't provided that link yet so I hope I can do it. Okay I'm gabbling now and that is because of my excitement so I'm going to go before I burst and make a mess of the screen.
See you all in a few days.

Lists, boots and Spring on the way.

First things first, my Fifty50 list i.e. the 50 things that I want to do in when I'm 50 is ready and if you want to you can view it here.
And now onto things pink pen related. It occurred to me today that one of the first things that I ever tried to get published was a children's story. This was about 35 years ago and the editor said that it was a lovely story that was written well but that it lacked danger and children liked danger. It was a story about a plastic duck as I recall. I have always hankered after writing children's stories because I think its important that they read although to be honest the stuff that I write is aimed more at the being read to at bedtime market. Anyway nothing ever did come of that story but I'm sure if I look hard enough I'll still have a copy somewhere (reference the list about hoarding). Then I started thinking about a children's story that I wrote a couple of years ago which when I sent to editors was met with a similar response. Editors said that they liked the writing but didn't take it on. The trouble wasn't that this one lacked danger but that its length didn't fit into the right slot. I've been thinking a lot about that story and maybe I'll see if I can do anything with it. If they were ever to be published I would want to use the name Sarah Maye which was my paternal grandmother's name and I love it so it would be great to see it sitting on a book shelf.
Other than that I wore a pair of shoes to work for the first time since September which was a pleasure. Not that I've been going barefoot because I haven't, no that would be silly, it has been boot weather since then both because of the cold and the snow. Today however it looked like Spring might be on the way. Hoorah!!!

A lovely day.

I have had a truly lovely day and as its to do with my Fifty50 project you can read all about it here. I have to be honest, I'm not doing much writing at the moment but I will get down to some in a couple of weeks time.